July 4th

I spent the whole weekend doing nothing.

Ruminating about the past and drinking and smoking. Avoided helping out a buddy do another (late) buddy's job, after I pretty much agreed to it. Sort of slipped out of it because no one called to verify things.

I'm lazy. I can't make up my mind and follow though. I have no career though I played at being self-employed now, for 10 or 15 years. I haven't the slightest idea what the heck I want to do, short of making money and surviving.

Surviving is all I've done, there's no joy or real challenge in that.

I have a college degree that I paid for but never ever used for anything.